Caveman Alien’s Sword Read online

  Caveman Alien’s Sword

  Calista Skye

  Contents

  The story so far

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Epilogue

  The story so far

  The Abduction

  Eighteen college girls were abducted by a flying saucer and dumped on the alien planet Xren.

  They were abducted by the Plood, a servant race of the evil dragons.

  Xren

  The planet the girls were dumped on is a jurassic planet where huge dinosaurs rule the jungle. There are flying, pterodactyl-like horrors called irox and velociraptors called rekh. But there are also creatures the size of office buildings as well as more mysterious beings.

  They all have one thing in common: they’re deadly.

  The cavemen

  The cavemen live in small tribal communities and are alien humanoids with colorful stripes and unusual features. They have no women of their own. The cavemen are very large and strong, but at the same time quite sophisticated.

  The girls have uncovered that the cavemen are not native to Xren - they were placed on the inhospitable planet to harden them for generations before their ultimate mission: to fight the dragons.

  Bune

  Bune is an ancient spaceship that crashed on Xren about a century ago. It contains many of the clues to the mystery of the cavemen and of Xren itself.

  It also contains a smaller ship that appears intact. The girls hope to make that spaceship fly, so they can go home to Earth. But the alien technology is extremely complicated.

  The dragons

  The dragons are the most fearsome species of aliens in the universe. They hunt other civilizations to extinction, including the species that built the spaceship Bune.

  Several dragons have come to Xren recently, and most them have been killed or neutralized by the Earth girls and the cavemen, working together.

  The girls suspect that the main dragon force is still on its way through space, coming to invade Xren and kill everyone.

  The girls

  The girls live in a village with their husbands and an increasing number of other cavemen who want to help fight the dragons. They form a tribe that is quickly becoming the most advanced on Xren.

  Sophia, Heidi, Emilia, Aurora, Caroline, Tamara and Phoebe

  These girls are all married to cavemen and have brought them into the tribe. Five of them have given birth to half-caveman babies.

  Delyah

  The unassuming genius Delyah is the elected leader of the tribe. She is married to Brax’tan, her co-chief. She spends most of her time in Bune, trying to understand it so they can all go home to Earth. She’s now pregnant, with her due date approaching fast.

  Ashlynn

  Ashlynn is the best (and only) roofer in the tribe. She is also the only physics student in the group, and she suspects that a lot of the problems with Bune will become hers to solve.

  But she dreads the responsibility - she was never a good student.

  This is her story.

  1

  - Ashlynn -

  “Is that all of it?”

  Sophia strokes some hairs out of her face and takes in the sad little heap of stuff on the flat rock.

  We’ve all emptied our pockets and personal storage bins for anything that comes from Earth. When we were abducted by the flying saucer it was late at night, so most of us were asleep. Or in bed, anyway. Anything we were holding or had on our person was taken along with us.

  The clothes we wore are long since reduced to sad, smelly rags. So, the heap consists mostly of earrings, scrunchies, lip balms, a couple of small tubes of lotions, and socks. There’s a cracked iPhone with no charge left and a plush kangaroo with a smaller kangaroo in its pouch. We could probably do decent business selling drawstrings from sweatpants, if there was a market for it.

  Mia glances at me, and I give her an encouraging nod. I know what’s coming.

  “Not quite,” she says reluctantly. “I will remind you all that it was late at night. And I was single. And I’m a pretty healthy girl and there’s nothing wrong with… what I was maybe doing.”

  She quickly takes something out of a pocket in her primitive dinosaur skin dress, and a small pink vibrator joins the other things in the heap.

  Nobody laughs or makes any rude comments.

  “Damn right,” Aurora says. “I just wish I’d brought mine, too. I mean, caveman dick is fine and all. But sometimes a girl needs her alone time.”

  There’s a murmur of sincere agreement.

  Eleanor scratches her chin. “Is there any battery life left in that thing? No, right?”

  “Nope,” Mia says. “All gone. And then some. Sorry.”

  “All right,” Sophia says and opens a large sack. “We’ll put it all in here, along with the gun, all the gold, and the translator device. And the guys will put it in a box and bury it deep so the dragons can’t get to any of this stuff.”

  “Can’t I keep that scrunchie?” Camila inquires. “I mean, no dragon is going to want that as part of its hoard. It’s all dirty and greasy. And seriously, look at this rat’s nest that’s supposed to be my hair.”

  Heidi takes her glasses off and carefully places them on the rock. “Probably safer if we don’t keep any of this. We don’t know what the dragons value. These things are all from light years away. That alone could make them attractive. We just don’t know. Shit, I’m blind now.”

  “Even my shitty map was enough of a hoard to turn Gorgoz into his dragon form,” Phoebe agrees. “It might not take much.”

  I squeeze something soft in my own pocket. “Maybe the dragons value things based on the affinity they have to their owners.”

  “Maybe,” Tamara agrees and puts her highly treasured Cartier bangle on top of the heap. “In that case, this has to be way out of sight. Just make sure the guys make a note of where they bury this stuff. If this thing is lost, I’ll freaking murder someone.”

  “Meanwhile,” I point out, “there’s at least one tribe with a large store of gold, which the dragons appear to want more than anything else. And I don’t know how many nice swords the tribes all own. Or jewelry. Or nicely woven fabrics. I mean, there’s enough nice stuff elsewhere on Xren to make a pretty decent hoard for even discerning dragons.”

  “There is,” Emilia agrees. “But I think we’re right to do this. At least the dragons can’t build hoards from our stuff. ‘Not on my watch’ and all that.”

  “Be the change you want to see,” Sopia adds.

  “Car’rakz says the gold in his old tribe is being hidden well,” Tamara informs us. “All of it. Only the old chief was badly afflicted with gold fever. The others are shaking it off.”

  “It’s probably a fair assumption that there is a lot of stuff on Xren to make hoards out of,” Aurora says. “But the more of it is hidden, the fewer dragons can make hoards and so become strong. We don’t know how many of them will come here. It’s like denying an enemy food. They can’t fight that well if they can’t eat. Yeah, it’s probably a brutal thing to do. But the dragons we’ve seen so far haven’t been
exactly nice.”

  Eleanor reluctantly tosses another drawstring onto the rock. “According to Delyah, there is another reason. She thinks it’s the better reason, too: all these things are from Earth. They’re mass produced. Each of them is proof of an industrial civilization. Any intelligent being will realize that they’re not from Xren. They must be from another, much more advanced planet. And the last thing we want is for the dragons to realize that Earth exists.”

  “Shit,” Emilia exclaims. “I never thought of that. Earth is probably much richer pickings for them than Xren ever was. Yeah, I’m convinced. Not that I have been treasuring this, of course. But… sometimes I like to look at it.” She carefully places an empty Snickers wrapper on the rock.

  We all look longingly at it.

  “Can I… can I smell that, please?” Phoebe asks.

  “And me?” Caroline adds hopefully.

  Emilia shrugs. “It’s all smelled out. Trust me, I know.”

  Sophia lets her gaze wander around the group. “Anything else? Last chance.”

  I squeeze the thing in my pocket again, and I’m one microsecond away from taking it out.

  Sophia closes the sack. “Okay. I’ll give this to Jax’zan and remind him again to make a damn careful note about where he buries it. If I lose that empty tube of lip balm, he’ll be sleeping on the couch for a week. Well, on the less comfy furs, anyway. Probably, I’ll end up joining him there after thirty minutes, knowing me. But it’s the principle of the thing.”

  She gets up and trots off.

  Mia and I go to sit down by the fire, where the stew that will be our breakfast is bubbling away.

  I hide a yawn. “Well, I hope those dragons don’t attack you guys while I’m away. Would hate to miss the show.”

  “I would also hate for you to miss it. Everything ready for your trek to Bune?”

  I gaze in the vague direction of the old alien spaceship. “I suppose so. Food and drink is probably all I’ll need on the way. And luck. Do you have some I can borrow?”

  “Yeah!” Mia says with fake enthusiasm. “Luck is my thing. Totally. Like being lucky enough to be the only girl who brought a sex toy to the alien planet and then having to show it to everyone.”

  “Oh, don’t worry about that. We all envy you that toy.”

  “Sure. But you know. Still embarrassing. I get the point, though. Thanks.” Mia stirs the large pot. “So, you’ll have an escort, I hear.”

  “I hear that, too.”

  “Know who it is yet?”

  “I guess Brax’tan will decide. Caveman business is his business.”

  “Mmm. It’ll be a good one, I’m sure. Large and cool and funny and sexy. Maybe you will no longer envy me the couple of decent nights I was able to squeeze out of that vibrator before the battery died.”

  I glance in the direction of the cavemen. Those who are not married are now separated from us girls by a low fence that’s more meant as a mental barrier than as a physical one. But after Phoebe was abducted by basically a complete stranger who could come and go as he pleased, the guys realized that some separation was needed. “Nah, I’m not hoping for that. I just hope I’ll be able to help Delyah so we can fly that spaceship home. God, I wonder why she wanted me, of all people.”

  Mia tastes the steaming stew and smacks her lips. “Hmm. Needs more… goodness. But I think we’re out of it. Didn’t she want you because you’re a physicist?”

  “But I’m not. I mean, it’s just my major. I didn’t even graduate yet. I’ll never be a good one. It’s just because my mom… damn it, I’m going to let her down. I just know it.”

  “See what she wants first. Maybe you’ll end up saving our bacon.”

  I cringe inwardly. I really don’t want that kind of responsibility. “I can’t imagine I’m smart enough. But I’ll hold Delyah’s purse while she saves us all and takes us home. I can do that much.”

  “Well, whatever you do, don’t stay too long. Phoebe and I will finish that new house in a week or so. And I need you to make a roof for it.”

  I nod. At least I’m good for that. The best roofer in the village. Mostly because I’m the only one. “All right. Can’t promise it will be dragon proof, though.”

  “As long as it’s rain proof, I think we can be happy with it.”

  I look up at the sky. The rains here in the jurassic jungle can be pretty fierce. “I promise nothing.”

  Phoebe comes along. She’s newly married and walks around with a permanent grin on her face. “So, do we take commissions? I mean, I’d love to have a house for just Rax’tar and me. A little bit away from the others? Not because we’re planning anything naughty, you understand. Just for… um… research.”

  “Get in line,” Mia says. “There are six couples ahead of you on the list.”

  Phoebe sits down. “Huh. I guess everyone is doing research these days. Well, there is a lot we have to find out.”

  “About those dragons, sure,” I say. “Like, will those two you met really not be able to get off the island?”

  Phoebe shrugs. “Who knows? Maybe they’re master swimmers but they left their swimsuits at home. Or the water is the exact wrong shade of blue. Or maybe they’re like cats and can swim if they must, but they prefer not to. Or maybe they’re busy building a boat right now. Except, if so, why hadn’t they started when I saw them? They’d had days to come up with something.”

  I unconsciously squeeze my pocket outside of the rough dino skin. “I guess dragons aren’t natural builders. Feels like they prefer stealing things that others have made instead of making them.”

  “Probably,” Phoebe agrees and dips a stick in the stew, then sucks on it. “Like I prefer to eat food I haven’t cooked myself. Yeah, I get that attitude. Maybe dragons aren’t all bad.”

  Mia raises an eyebrow. “Any good?”

  Phoebe licks her lips. “Needs something… not sure just what. I want to say salt, but that’s not really it.”

  “Goodness?” Mia offers.

  Phoebe nods. “Yeah! That’s it. Some goodness. Say, an ounce or so.”

  I stifle another yawn. I got pretty drunk at the wedding last night, but I made sure to drink a lot of water after. “I heard we’re fresh out. Someone should order more. Amazon Prime has free shipping, right?”

  “It would be fun to see them try to ship a quarter pound of assorted spices seven light years away,” Phoebe fantasizes. “That would have to bankrupt them, right, Ashlynn?”

  “Definitely. Bankrupted by their own shipping policy. Though, I’m not sure even those guys are that dedicated to customer satisfaction. But heck, I’m not picky. I would be fine with a delivery spaceship in the sky right now, from any retailer. Even Walmart would be okay.”

  Mia frowns. “Now, let’s not get carried away. We have to draw the line somewhere. Whole Foods or better.”

  “Hey,” I protest, “if Walmart dumped a crate of coffee here right now, would you really turn your nose up?”

  “Nobody said anything about coffee,” Mia replies and dumps a ladleful of stew onto a fresh, green leaf. “Obviously, I’d suck the delivery boy’s… uh… clipboard for a pound of coffee. Even Walmart’s store brand.”

  “Girls, shut the fuck up,” Phoebe suggests. “I’m a newlywed and pregnant. I’m vulnerable. Stop all your crazy talk about steaming mugs of French roast with one of those dry cookies on the side and a pack of brown sugar that I’ll handle and then decide to not open after all.”

  “Sorry,” I say and squeeze her wrist. “It’s just on my mind a lot. Though, I prefer Colombian, I just decided. I mean, if you can’t have any anyway, you might as well just become a huge snob about it. Ready to eat, Mia?”

  We munch on the stew, which in all honesty isn’t all that bad. Although a pinch a goodness would do wonders for it.

  I wipe my mouth. “I wonder, could I steal some of that for my trip? Delyah has food there, right?”

  Mia wraps some of the stew in a leaf. “They say that spaceship has huge hangin
g gardens with all kinds of fruits. She never complains about the diet there. But maybe bring some, anyway. I’m sure she’ll appreciate some variety, and she is pregnant.”

  Phoebe puts down the wooden spoon and wrinkles her nose. “So would I, actually. Sure, the salen fruits are wonderful. But too much of a good thing is still too much. I’d love a decent pizza. Or just freaking meatloaf. Potatoes. Rice.”

  I glance over at the rising alien sun. “I’ve been dreaming about fried fish lately. But I guess I should be getting used to this place. It’s not unbearable here. Not completely, anyway. But good grief. It’s been so long now! I can’t help but wonder if Delyah is wasting her time in that spaceship.”

  “Well, you’re about to find out,” Mia says. “And then you can— hey, it’s okay! We’ll go home one day!” She reaches out and squeezes my knee.

  Because I’ve suddenly got bitter tears running down my face. “Sorry. It’s just…”

  “You don’t have to explain,” Phoebe assures me and puts an arm casually around my shoulder. “I get that, too. Suddenly it hits you with full force. Where we are and what the future could end up looking like. We didn’t choose this. Of course you want to go home.”

  I wipe my tears. Open despair is frowned upon in the village, because it could be contagious. “I do. I really, really do. I want it more than I’ve ever wanted anything. Sorry. I was just suddenly standing by my old bedroom window watching the sun rise. On an ordinary school day back in high school. And I hated high school. Still, even that would be… Never mind. I’m okay.”

  “At least you’ll get a change of scenery,” Phoebe tries to comfort me. “And you’ll get a good escort to keep you safe on your way to Bune.”